Sunday, June 29, 2008

Surat Untuk Abah

Abah,
Nina tak pernah rase disayangi abah. Nina x pernah berada di bawah jgaan, kasih sayang dan perhatian abah sejak Nina lahir. Abah jauh. Terlalu jauh. Apa yang Nina ingat dulu, ms kecik2, abah slalu marah2, marah Nina sbb makan lambat, marah mama. Nina ingat lg, mase tu abah nk bwk kite pg Cameron Highlands, kite sume dh siap. Mama kt atas nk kunci pntu (kite duk flat mase tu), abah dlm keta marah2 mama sbb lmbt sgt. Pastu abah terus x jadi pegi. Nina nangis dlm keta abh x peduli langsung. Abah panas baran! Abah kejam! Abah selalu marah mama n Nina

Abah,
Rupanye, abah kawen lain..ms tu Nina baru 4 tahun. Adik br je lahir. Mama cite abah kata kt mama, lahir je anak, jatuh talak..tp mama btekad lahirkan adik. Abah tau, mama drive sdiri pg hospital time nk bsalin. Nasib baik mama kuat. Abah mana mase tu? Abah xde, abah hilang dgn kluarga baru. Abah dgn isteri no 3. Rupanye abah tipu mama..sblum kawen ngn mama pn abah dh ade isteri lain. 3 org dh anak abah. Heh, Nina ade 2 abg n 1 kakak rupenye..

Lepas adik lahir, abah langsung x pedulikn kami. Mama dh bg abah 2 peluang, abah jahat! Abah ceraikn mama dgn talak 3! Abah biarkn kami, nafkah x bg n duit mut’ah mama pn smpi skrg abah x bayar..

Abah tau x, hidup kami 3 beranak susah sgt waktu tu. Abah ade fikir anak2 abah ni mkn ape waktu susah? Kitorg x mkn bah..mama lah yg susah payah besarkn kami 2 beradik. Ye, mama yg abah pukul slame ni. Mama pnah ckp ngn Nina, pkara yg paling die menyesal dlm hidup ni adalah bkahwin ngn abah..abah mmg x bertanggungjwb

Kami hidup harapkn gaji mama yg x seberapa tu je..mase Nina skola rendah, pnah skali, time mama nk anta kitorg pg skola, tgh2 isi minyak, tiba2 ade org cina dtg nk tarik keta..sedih sgt waktu tu. Mama hantar kitorg pg skola n bile smpi kt ofis mama (bukit aman), cina tu tarik keta..tp ptg tu bile nk balik, mama dh tebus balik keta buruk kami tu…xtau mama pinjam duit kt mane.. abah mane?abah xde mase tu..abah lupe kitorg..ye la, abah ade BMW, ade motor besar, byk duit..mane nk igt org miskin mcm kami..

Abah,
Abah tau x dulu, ble hujung taun je, mama mula susah hati mana nk cari duit utk raya, duit skola, baju, buku etc..dn selalunye, cikda n anjang yg tlg belikn brg2 keperluan sume tu..abah telefon pn x pnah kan..

Dulu Nina slalu tpu kwn2 Nina ble dorg tanye mana abah. Nina kate abah kite keja jauh, baik sekali-sekala je..tp hakikatnye, abah x pnah balik! Nina malu, nina sedih bah..

Ah, terlalu byk rasenye liku2 yg kami anak beranak hadapi selama ni. Xsanggup nina nk senaraikan sumenye..terlalu byk. Hati mama dh cukup terluka dgn perbuatan abah. Sikap panas baran abah x pnah berubah dr dulu smpai sekarang.

Tp sekarang, mama dh bahagia. Mama dh ade uncle. Mama ade Nina n adik. Nina dh blh tlg mama. Abah jgn igt tanpa didikan abah kitorg jd anak yg bermasalah. Abah silap. Mama bjaya didik kami dgn cemerlang. Kasih syg Nina n adik pd mama xpnah berubah dan xkan berubah walau segunung emas abah lambakkan pd kami..xkan!
Abah jgn cuba nk rampas kasih syg kami pd mama. Walaupun abah kaya, byk duit, kitorg xkan tpedaya dgn sume tu..kitorg dh biase hidup susah ngn mama.

Abah,
Abah sakit. Smlm nina br dpt tau abah kna kanser perut dan dh merebak ke hati. Jujurnya, Nina x rase ape2. Nina x pnah rase kasih syg abah dan abah juga berhak utk tidak merasai kasih syg Nina. Nina minta maaf bah..Nina anggap sume ni adalah kifarah Allah terhadap dosa2 abah selama ni. Abah bdosa pd kami 3 beranak. Abah biar kami hidup susah slame 20 taun..br skrg abah nk muncul menyesali kesalahan2 abah. Its too late, father..

Tapi, walau macammane buruk, mcmane teruk pbuatan abah pd kami, abah tetap abah Nina..Nina terima, tanpa abah Nina xkan lahir ke dunia ni. Atas dasar itu, Nina doakan abah cepat sembuh supaya dpt minta ampun dgn Allah dan insan2 yg abah pernah lukakan hati mereka trutama mama. Itu je yg Nina doakan..tp kasih Nina hanya pd mama..bukan untuk abah..

Anakmu,
Nina Syazmeen


-tulisan ini bukan bertujuan utk membuka pekung didada. Tp nk tunjukkan betapa bertuahnye korg dilahirkn dlm kluarga yg bahagia..hargailah ibu dan bapa korg. Kalau abah korg x mcm abah aku, lagilah korg kna hormat..betape sronoknye ade ayah yg boleh bgurau senda n jln same2, bg nasihat..yg x mrh2 xtentu pasal..yg x panas baran..hargailah abah korg..btw, jumaat ni abah aku akan dibedah..doa2kn lah ye..-

11 comments:

Ladyship Atie said...

salam.
dear nina..
hopefully u'll be strong and tough enough to face all these..
Allah xkan uji hambaNya dengan ujian yang x mampu kita pikul..
insyaAllah, things will become alryte..
Walau seteruk mana pun ur dad is, he's still ur father, and u r obliged to love and respect him.
Dia x sedar kesilapan dia, n now ni baru nak minta maaf..
Maafkanlah.. siapa kita untuk tidak memaafkan..

Aku doakan kau sentiasa kuat dan tenang hadapi hidup ni..
Luv u!

Anonymous said...

Salam, saya doakan ayah akak kembali sihat. Surat yang amat menyentuh rasa..

Adlan said...

salam..

yea. i can imagine that

last time tgk drama kt tv

'kerana dia ayahku'

tiba teringat dkt awk jgak..

insyallah doa la yang terbaik utk dia.

Anonymous said...

la yukallifullah hu nafsan illa wusa'ha..
Allah xkan beri ujian kt hambanya melainkan Dia tahu hambanya tuh mampu menanggung ujian tersebut..
hurmm..
siyesly..
saya xpnah akak punye family history b4 dis even kite close..
:)
akak..
alhamdulillah mama akak kwat gile 4 all of these..
akak kene tawu even ayah akak macam tuh, die still ayah akak..
n akak kne tahu jugak..
xde ayah akak, akak pown xde taw..
ini semua kerja tuhan..
Allah da bagi dye balasan yg die mesti tawu + engt balik sume mase lampau die.. supaya die sempat bertaubat..
n mintak maaf ngan sume org..
akak..
take care..
sume org sayang akak..
^_^
~sheriel~

chentatiku said...

nina,,,aku agree ngan atie..wateva it is..dia bapak ko..aku paham..ape yg kita rasa sama, cuma watak n cara yg berbeza..now, aku amik kputusan amik jln tengah..be indifferent..suka pun x, xsuka pun ye..aku jalankan tggjwb aku sbg anak, n it up 2 him nak jalankan tggjwb dia ke xnk..terpulang..

nina, believe me, semua ni ajar kite erti dewasa..n semua ujian ni byk hikmah dia..aku cube figure out semua hikmah n alhamdulillah,,,aku puas hati dgn ape yg Allah tentukan..aku redha~

ko kene kuat k..aku doakan bapak ko selamat..

igt..time nabi musa dulu, parents dia dah jadi babi pon dia bela..pk2 n renung2kan k

chentatiku said...

error: time zaman nabi musa ade umat dia yg jaga parents dia yg dah tuka jadi babi

Anonymous said...

nina,i hope u'll be strong.
keep in touch wif HIM n insyaallah HE will show u the right path..amen

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